I have Sweet Skills.

Have you ever been in a rut? The kind of rut that overwhelms the shit out of you as your trying to figure a way out of it? I am in more than one rut right now. One of the ruts I have been in since puberty hit, and I decided that boys were cute and fun to kiss. You know how it goes, Brittany meets boy. Brittany likes boy. Boy turns creepy/into an ass. Brittany runs screaming.
That rut seems to pretend to go away, but then sneeks up behind me and kicks me in the ass as if to say, "Effing Idiot. Like this one was really going to be different."

The other rut is a stalker. It follows me everywhere, and makes me feel naked in public like everyone knows im in this rut and they're just being nice because they feel sorry for me. I feel myself sink deeper into this rut when people ask me, "So, where do you go to school?"
I always reply back with, "Oh. I don't go to school. School and I don't get along. I'm saving up my money to get into hair school."

I don't even have a job. People laugh when my name and work are put in the same sentence. I plan on saving money for hair school, but finding a job sucks. Especially when I know that I am not going to like any job other than the one I really want to do. I don't know why I'm not one of those people who are super motivated. I fell off somewhere after junior high when some of my friends focused on school and some of them focused on parties. Oh, and then there were the friends that focused on both.

They always pissed me off cause I never quite got how they did it. I always juggled between homework and parties. I dropped homework, and held tightly on to partying. I think it was because I knew I was good at it, and I didn't feel like a dumb ass. I've always been good at making people laugh, having fun, not caring, and drinking beer. Where do those things fit in in real life? I'm in a rut of uselessness. No direction what so ever. On the outside I'm care-free, happy, and confident. People actually tell me they are jealous of me for those things. I don't get why. It has gotten me no where and nothing except for a lot of friends and phone calls to the best parties. To bad I don't get a pay check for that. Instead I have a huge phone bill and an empty gas tank.

I'm supposed to have a job by the end of this week. I was actually going through the paper last night with my mom trying to find jobs. I came across one that said something about Microsoft Sweet Skills. That made me laugh because if you take off Microsoft, I do have Sweet Skills. And if I could get a job based on that, that would be fabulous. It's actually supposed to be suite skills. Dumbasses. They should just give me a job editing their job ads. 20 bucks an hour, please. I'll sit there all day talking on myspace until they have an ad that they would like me to edit. I will change a few spelling errors and put little hearts over the "i's" and that will be it.

I should seriously learn to be realistic, huh?

I guess as long as im not selling underwear to strange women, bathing dogs, or being a Brand Rep, I'm ok. We'll see how it goes. I'll letcha know when I find a job--or go to a really bad ass party.

STOP RUNNING AWAY, SHIT!

I've seen drunk people before. I've seen shit-faced people before. I've even seen what they are like beyond shit-faced, but never have I ever seen a drunk like Jameson. This experience was completely new.

His first night here we just chilled out, givin him the chance to ease in to what Oklahoma and the people had to offer. That was a good night, and no, you can not ash a ritz bitz cracker. Why did I try? I don't know why I tried. I made up some dumb-ass excuse that went something like, "I didn't want to get the crumbs to get on me." I'm such a liar.

The next night--oh yes. That was priceless. Since Jameson remembers nothing, let me just tell you what happened. Get ready to pee in your pants:

1. Went to dinner.
2. Got back from dinner and grabbed what we were going to be drinking that night (Lauren and I: Rum and Pineapple Juice, Jameson: Captain Morgan)
3. Get to a house where we are meeting up with friends. Jameson begins to get rather wasted.
4. Smoke break out side.
5. Sometime after that, Jameson ran away.
6. Scotty and I go look for him.
7. I call Jameson.
8. He says, "I went through some fence. I'm at a 7-11)
9. We find the fence and walk through it.
10. Jameson sees us and starts running back.
11. He doesn't stop when he gets to us. Oh no. He just keeps going.
12. We lose him again.
13. We find him prancing through the field.
14. We see him behind a tree.
15. Scotty goes one way and I go the other.
16. Jameson jukes us.
17. He jukes us again.
18. And again.
19. And again.
20. And again.
21. Side note- Have you ever had to chase a dog that has escaped? If they don't want you to catch them they sprint off, and everyonce and a while will look back to make sure you're still chasing him? That was Jameson.
22. We finally get him back to the apartment.
23. I walk inside to use the restroom.
24. I come back out, and I don't see Jameson.
25. I say his name, and he raises his hand from behind a recliner. He was hiding behind it.
26. Finally, we leave to go to another house where the owner lays down the law. He doesn't want us using the back door because its broken.
27. Jameson uses it anyway.
28. He passes out in the back yard cuddling with his bottle.

That was the end of his night. He doesn't remember much, Poor Guy.

My Mom is going to post also because she got the phone side of the story. That's going to be some funny shit.

--BrittanyJonn