I have Sweet Skills.

Have you ever been in a rut? The kind of rut that overwhelms the shit out of you as your trying to figure a way out of it? I am in more than one rut right now. One of the ruts I have been in since puberty hit, and I decided that boys were cute and fun to kiss. You know how it goes, Brittany meets boy. Brittany likes boy. Boy turns creepy/into an ass. Brittany runs screaming.
That rut seems to pretend to go away, but then sneeks up behind me and kicks me in the ass as if to say, "Effing Idiot. Like this one was really going to be different."

The other rut is a stalker. It follows me everywhere, and makes me feel naked in public like everyone knows im in this rut and they're just being nice because they feel sorry for me. I feel myself sink deeper into this rut when people ask me, "So, where do you go to school?"
I always reply back with, "Oh. I don't go to school. School and I don't get along. I'm saving up my money to get into hair school."

I don't even have a job. People laugh when my name and work are put in the same sentence. I plan on saving money for hair school, but finding a job sucks. Especially when I know that I am not going to like any job other than the one I really want to do. I don't know why I'm not one of those people who are super motivated. I fell off somewhere after junior high when some of my friends focused on school and some of them focused on parties. Oh, and then there were the friends that focused on both.

They always pissed me off cause I never quite got how they did it. I always juggled between homework and parties. I dropped homework, and held tightly on to partying. I think it was because I knew I was good at it, and I didn't feel like a dumb ass. I've always been good at making people laugh, having fun, not caring, and drinking beer. Where do those things fit in in real life? I'm in a rut of uselessness. No direction what so ever. On the outside I'm care-free, happy, and confident. People actually tell me they are jealous of me for those things. I don't get why. It has gotten me no where and nothing except for a lot of friends and phone calls to the best parties. To bad I don't get a pay check for that. Instead I have a huge phone bill and an empty gas tank.

I'm supposed to have a job by the end of this week. I was actually going through the paper last night with my mom trying to find jobs. I came across one that said something about Microsoft Sweet Skills. That made me laugh because if you take off Microsoft, I do have Sweet Skills. And if I could get a job based on that, that would be fabulous. It's actually supposed to be suite skills. Dumbasses. They should just give me a job editing their job ads. 20 bucks an hour, please. I'll sit there all day talking on myspace until they have an ad that they would like me to edit. I will change a few spelling errors and put little hearts over the "i's" and that will be it.

I should seriously learn to be realistic, huh?

I guess as long as im not selling underwear to strange women, bathing dogs, or being a Brand Rep, I'm ok. We'll see how it goes. I'll letcha know when I find a job--or go to a really bad ass party.