Help.Me.Lord.
- been told that the space between my big toe and the rest of my toes is too wide.
- been pinched so hard that it turned into a bruise immediatly.
- had my foot licked.
- been attacked by the stupid cat (2 times).
- locked my self in the bathroom.
- been tackled out of no where.
- been told that my shirt is too short (it showed an inch of skin).
- been told that I use bad words ( I said butt).
- been told that my music is stupid (how is skynard stupid? these kids have no taste).
- been taken to Toys R Us.
- Wanted to pull my hair out.
- nearly crawled out of my skin.
- nearly had a nervous break down.
- heard every random banging noice in the world.
- been hypnotised by repetitive tapping.
- almost died in a car wreck because the kids would not SHUT THE HELL UP and were being distracting.
- have heard the word Mommy about 9384794793274893 times.
- smelled crap.
- smelled crap.
- smelled crap.
- smelled crap.
My aunt has 4 girls. 4 G-I-R-L-S. On top of that she home schools them. I would die. I would no longer exist. At the least I would be bald, and I would rock back and forth with drool streaming out of my mouth. I would be numbed by the screaming, crying, and farting. These kids fart more than any person I have ever met or heard of. Every minute or so you hear a little giggle followed by a 'scuse me. and then another 'scuse me. Followed by another until it just pisses you off and smells like crap.
I CAN'T WAIT TO COME HOME. I love these girls with my whole heart, but I am never staying for more than 2 days again. EVER.
Dear annoying Winnie the Pooh phone,
I hate you with every fiber of my being. You have tormented me for five days straight. I think I am suffering premature hair loss because of you. You better believe I will be calling you when I need a hair transplant. All you say is, "I shall like to call Piglet, please" over and over. Why is it just as amusing as the first time after the button has been pushed 29 times? Am I missing something, or are you trying to brain wash small innocent children? You don't even make a ringing noise, and Youre phone cord isn't long enough to hold the phone up to my ear. I didn't see a speaker phone button, either. So what am I supposed to do, idiot? Hold my face right up to the plastic piece of shit that haunts me with every "I shall like to call blah blah"?
I will continue to hate you until you run out of batteries. Or until I steal you and throw you out the car window going 100 mph. Who shall you like to call then, shit head?
You suck,
B
posted by Unknown at 8:32 PM
10 Comments:
there's two very short Asian women standing on either side of me...
if that makes you feel any better...
rock?
c
Wow. sounds like a pretty apt description of hell. I don't like children, if you can't tell.
I rhymed that shit.
okay, worse than two asian women (and i really don't like hearing asian people talk (is that un-pc? oh well fuck it...))
I'm at a party surronded by stupid caddy bitches and a bunch of annoying guys... so I get more enjoyment by going onto my friends computer and trolling the internet... jesus... they just put on country music... I am in my personalized version of hell...
I'm convinced that I just don't like people in general, I plan on drinking at least a gallon of jungle juice tonight, prepare for a ridiculous story tomorrow... hopefully... if I make it to tomorrow
shoot me
c
I'm so happy to be home. The first thing I did when I got back was down a glass of wine. I don't think wine is for chugging, but I did it anyway.
The car ride home made me want to bash my head into the window really hard. I had to talk about The Rapture and abortion. My grandma told me I was wrong for thinking it was ok for women to have abortions if that is what they want and isn't against their own morals. I told her that for every person who is pro-choice there are at least 5 people ready to pounce on the subject and change their mind. I told her that my mind would not be changed. So then she asked me if I thought murder was ok. Of course I said no, and I fell right into this one. She then told me that I shouldnt be ok with abortion either. WHAT EVER, LADY.
Like all rules there are acceptions, face it. So I asked her, "If I got raped and got pregnant, would you really tell me I was wrong for aborting it?"
She basically told me that there are other options. Sorry, but Im not going to carry a baby for 9 months, push the massive object through a very small part of me, and then give it to somone. HELL NO. If I'm going through all that pain, I am getting something out of it. Like a little person to do all my house chores for the rest of my life. That was wrong.
Love-
B
Funny you had that conversation, because that's what we're going over in Philosophy. I bet there's some shit in my class you could have told your grandma that would have ended the conversation real quick. The abortion is murder argument is one of the easiest to beat.
Jameson
I want a Winnnie the Pooh phone, Brit! Would ya get me one? PLEASE?????
Please? PLEASE!!!
And how would I beat that topic, Jam? Do tell.
No Tona, you can not have the phone. It's satan.
First, when is a fetus a person to be murdered? It is a small mass of cells connected to your uterus. Deciding not to bring another being into this world is quite different than pulling the trigger of a semi-automatic weapon and killing someone. Though that thought has crossed my mind with your Mimi. The closest I came was throwing a sandwich at her when you were a small child; she was asking for it. Trust me.
the best way I beat the anti-abortion stance is to say to a chick "So, pretend I had slipped something in your drink when you were going to the bathroom, then I hit you over the head and raped you tonight... you're saying you'd still want to have my baby?"
seems to prove my point pretty well...
c
ha ha...
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