Confessions of A Serial Dater
So, I am getting to the point in the relationship with "J" that I always feel the worst about. It's the point in the relationship where I know things aren't going to work out, but he "more than likes me; he really likes me." I only feel bad because I have a heart (just so you know that I do. Some people think I'm lying when I say that).
Here is the story of his downfall. We were sitting in my living room last night watching Ellen DeGeneres (who rocks), and I am laughing at almost everything that comes out of her mouth. I mean shit, she was talking about how some people can't joke anymore. You tell a story about how your dog just died, and the person you are telling says, "You're kidding?" and then you're left like, "No. As Funny as that is, though." I mean how can you not laugh at that? Am I that easily amused? Anyway, he barely laughed at all, but when we watch some shit about Ali G (the movie - not the HBO series that is funny), he thinks its tear-jerking-ly funny. Is it really that funny? I mean, that funny? Is this hypocritical? We then watched 50 First Dates. Near the end of the movie he blurts, "This doesn't happen. People with memory problems can't have a dream about someone and then paint what they look like."
Ok Smart One, but Batman is a totally logical story line right? I mean you can totally take Super Heros seriously. I'm not going to lie, I like Batman, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, I believe painting someone from a dream over flying and train stopping. Am I right or am I right. Don't answer. I already know.
He's one of those guys who leaves your house and sends you a message 5 minutes later confessing how much he likes you and how much fun he had--sitting on your couch, watching movies, and making stupid comments. It's not every once in a while that he'll do this. Oh no. It's everytime he leaves. Every. Single. Time. So then, you expect it. It's not cute like it was the first time. It's even stressful. You find yourself looking into the future (not too deep though, cuz its not going to last), and wondering, "What does it mean when he doesn't send a message 5 minutes after he's left?" It's lame. I know. But stressful none-the-less.
These guys are the hardest to break up with. You sit there staring at him with his heart on his sleeve, and you can't seem to get up the nerve to rip his heart out and drop kick it. Do you really care about him enough to care about his feelings? Is your heart floating in a thick pool of black tar? "NO!" you tell yourself. There must be a better way, right? So you let him think he's breaking it off with you. You go all "How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days" on him and drive him crazy. But who wants to look like a psycho? So you change your mind. Second guessing always kicks your ass in these situations.
Why is it so hard to say, "Look Buddy, it's just not going to work. You and me, yeah, we're on two different levels. No, Not because you are 6'6" and I'm 5'2". You like me way more than I like you. Us staying together may cause mental illness. You drive me up a wall. I know you to a T. You like me. You tell me so every morning and every time you leave my house. You tell me that we balance each other out. That's not true. I'm not balanced. I am totally wobbling back and forth here. Good look on your jumpy-thingy though."
WHY IS THAT SO HARD?
Update later.
Here is the story of his downfall. We were sitting in my living room last night watching Ellen DeGeneres (who rocks), and I am laughing at almost everything that comes out of her mouth. I mean shit, she was talking about how some people can't joke anymore. You tell a story about how your dog just died, and the person you are telling says, "You're kidding?" and then you're left like, "No. As Funny as that is, though." I mean how can you not laugh at that? Am I that easily amused? Anyway, he barely laughed at all, but when we watch some shit about Ali G (the movie - not the HBO series that is funny), he thinks its tear-jerking-ly funny. Is it really that funny? I mean, that funny? Is this hypocritical? We then watched 50 First Dates. Near the end of the movie he blurts, "This doesn't happen. People with memory problems can't have a dream about someone and then paint what they look like."
Ok Smart One, but Batman is a totally logical story line right? I mean you can totally take Super Heros seriously. I'm not going to lie, I like Batman, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, I believe painting someone from a dream over flying and train stopping. Am I right or am I right. Don't answer. I already know.
He's one of those guys who leaves your house and sends you a message 5 minutes later confessing how much he likes you and how much fun he had--sitting on your couch, watching movies, and making stupid comments. It's not every once in a while that he'll do this. Oh no. It's everytime he leaves. Every. Single. Time. So then, you expect it. It's not cute like it was the first time. It's even stressful. You find yourself looking into the future (not too deep though, cuz its not going to last), and wondering, "What does it mean when he doesn't send a message 5 minutes after he's left?" It's lame. I know. But stressful none-the-less.
These guys are the hardest to break up with. You sit there staring at him with his heart on his sleeve, and you can't seem to get up the nerve to rip his heart out and drop kick it. Do you really care about him enough to care about his feelings? Is your heart floating in a thick pool of black tar? "NO!" you tell yourself. There must be a better way, right? So you let him think he's breaking it off with you. You go all "How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days" on him and drive him crazy. But who wants to look like a psycho? So you change your mind. Second guessing always kicks your ass in these situations.
Why is it so hard to say, "Look Buddy, it's just not going to work. You and me, yeah, we're on two different levels. No, Not because you are 6'6" and I'm 5'2". You like me way more than I like you. Us staying together may cause mental illness. You drive me up a wall. I know you to a T. You like me. You tell me so every morning and every time you leave my house. You tell me that we balance each other out. That's not true. I'm not balanced. I am totally wobbling back and forth here. Good look on your jumpy-thingy though."
WHY IS THAT SO HARD?
Update later.
posted by Unknown at 9:37 PM
2 Comments:
How to lose a guy sucked, By the way.
otherwise, its good too see everyone back in the swing of things.
I'm glad your back in the swing of smart ass comments. I missed that.
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