Pay your tickets on time
I was driving on the highway last month in a hurry to pick up my little sister from school. I'm going at least 20 over when a stupid cop pulled out from behind an effing wall to pull me over. He gave me a speeding ticket, but out of the "kindness of his heart" he dropped it down to 10 over so that it wouldn't go on my record. The ticket was due on Oct. 28th.
Guess who forgot to pay her ticket and/or go to court? That would be me.
A letter comes in the mail informing me that I now have a bench warrant out for my arrest. YAY. Though this made me feel a little like a rebel, I worried because my dad told me that they could come and arrest me at any time. I contemplated how I would handle this situation in my head. I pictured myself pretending to faint, or throwing up. Could they take me away then?
I also pictured myself in a jail cell. I'm 100% sure that I wouldn't last 24 hours before someone making me her bitch. I couldn't take up for myself against the Gangster Bitches of Oklahoma ( cause that's what they call themselves...).
I called the court house the other day and they told me to be in court by 1:00 on the 10th of November. I get there early thinking that the earlier I get there the earlier he will call me up to bitch me out, tell me how much I owe, and send me on my way. No. Not the case. It seemed like it went backwards. They later you got there the faster you got to get the hell out. Anyway, I get there at 12:10 with my Mom and my Mema in tow. My mom was carrying a leather folder for reasons unknowing. We get ourselves seated and then my mom and Mema start cracking jokes.
By jokes I mean they are the only ones who thought it was funny, and they are being rather loud. I'm over on my side of the bench nearly throwing up because of nerves, and my mom and mema are over there making fun of the smell or something. My Mema asks me if I want her to pray for me, she says this through tears of laughter and tells me she will get on her knees and say, "Praise Jesus," whenever the Judge calls me up. I begin to laugh, cause well, that would be pretty damn funny. I probably shouldn't have said damn after saying Jesus in the last sentence. I repent.
My mom then begins to tell me exactly what I need to say to the Judge. She says, "Tell him you are sorry, and can he take off the failure to appear cost? Don't forget to say your sorry, and take this paper up there with a pen just In case you need to write anything. And say sorry."
Finally Mr. Judge man calls me up and dismisses the failure to appear cost, and tells me that I have until Jan.11 to pay up. When we get outside the courtroom my mom asks me what he said, and I couldn't tell her because I was so nervous up there that I forgot everything he said to me. So, I just handed her the papers he handed me and let her figure it out with the clerk lady whoever behind the glass.
Not to mention, I was wearing a long ass denim skirt with my hair curled under in a half pony tail. I'm pretty sure I looked like one of those ladies whose religion permits them to only wear skirts. Do you know who I'm talking about? I barely wore make-up, either. I was going for innocence. I think it worked.
Guess who forgot to pay her ticket and/or go to court? That would be me.
A letter comes in the mail informing me that I now have a bench warrant out for my arrest. YAY. Though this made me feel a little like a rebel, I worried because my dad told me that they could come and arrest me at any time. I contemplated how I would handle this situation in my head. I pictured myself pretending to faint, or throwing up. Could they take me away then?
I also pictured myself in a jail cell. I'm 100% sure that I wouldn't last 24 hours before someone making me her bitch. I couldn't take up for myself against the Gangster Bitches of Oklahoma ( cause that's what they call themselves...).
I called the court house the other day and they told me to be in court by 1:00 on the 10th of November. I get there early thinking that the earlier I get there the earlier he will call me up to bitch me out, tell me how much I owe, and send me on my way. No. Not the case. It seemed like it went backwards. They later you got there the faster you got to get the hell out. Anyway, I get there at 12:10 with my Mom and my Mema in tow. My mom was carrying a leather folder for reasons unknowing. We get ourselves seated and then my mom and Mema start cracking jokes.
By jokes I mean they are the only ones who thought it was funny, and they are being rather loud. I'm over on my side of the bench nearly throwing up because of nerves, and my mom and mema are over there making fun of the smell or something. My Mema asks me if I want her to pray for me, she says this through tears of laughter and tells me she will get on her knees and say, "Praise Jesus," whenever the Judge calls me up. I begin to laugh, cause well, that would be pretty damn funny. I probably shouldn't have said damn after saying Jesus in the last sentence. I repent.
My mom then begins to tell me exactly what I need to say to the Judge. She says, "Tell him you are sorry, and can he take off the failure to appear cost? Don't forget to say your sorry, and take this paper up there with a pen just In case you need to write anything. And say sorry."
Finally Mr. Judge man calls me up and dismisses the failure to appear cost, and tells me that I have until Jan.11 to pay up. When we get outside the courtroom my mom asks me what he said, and I couldn't tell her because I was so nervous up there that I forgot everything he said to me. So, I just handed her the papers he handed me and let her figure it out with the clerk lady whoever behind the glass.
Not to mention, I was wearing a long ass denim skirt with my hair curled under in a half pony tail. I'm pretty sure I looked like one of those ladies whose religion permits them to only wear skirts. Do you know who I'm talking about? I barely wore make-up, either. I was going for innocence. I think it worked.
posted by Unknown at 11:00 AM
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