Creepy Boy, My Stupid Mouth, and Boyfriend
Yes. That is a paper bag hat. It says, "Get Bent!"If you know me, you know I have an abnormaly high record for getting all the weird ass boys. This last boy might have stolen the gold. I stopped talking to him because he acted like a five year old--on a good day. The rest of the time he could have been put in a play pen with a 3 year old and gotten along just fine. After I told him that I didn't want to talk to him anymore and that "no part of me wanted to be nice to him," he called me like 20 times and kept sending me text messages. Yesterday I got an email from him that basically said that I'm a bitch and I think I am better than everyone else. He said that I should be nice and optimistic because that will get me far in life. Oh, and he said that "everyone is just human."
So, I started thinking about everything he had to say and came up with this:
I am a bitch. I am a stubborn little bitchy brat. That's something I can't help--well--yes I can, but I don't want to. I'm bitchy in a funny-you-wont-hate-me-for-it way, though. I'm not, like, mean to people--on an hourly basis. And he's right, I do think I am better than some people, but not everyone. I really should be nice and optimistic because, yes, it will get me far in life. Oh, and everyone is just human. That was a great observation. No, seriously. Someone needs to let the world know.
I responded back to him in a manner that if I were him I would probably hate me. It was fun. I basically thanked him for taking time out of his busy day just to email me, and that I'm thrilled to know he is obviously still thinking about me. He then told me to stop talking to him. So then I told him "No, you stop talking to me." Haha. It was fun. His last e-mail just said the word "bitch."
Luckily, while I was "dating" him I was kind of dating another boy named Cleve ( laugh it up. his middle name is Dwayne.) who is now my boyfriend. Yeah, I need to explain. Last night was 30 pack of Keystone fun filled night. Cleve was there enjoying the same fun as I was. We got to talking and some how, some way we decided that we should just be boyfriend and girlfriend. My stupid mouth. Stupid stupid mouth. I woke up this morning to a "Good morning, Girlfriend." Stupid FUCKING mouth.
As my Mom says, "Well that just seals his fate."
Ahh life. It is sweet.
posted by Unknown at 2:04 PM
2 Comments:
To be fair, B, these boys don't usually start out being weird. They just kind of implode when they find that you are more of a boy, emotionally, than they are. You throw them into existential crisis or something.
I am actually starting to feel sorry for some of these boys. You confuse the hell out of them.
I went to dinner with Brit and the ex, and he acted like a seven year old with an SUV. He scared the shit out of me in the car, and I drive like a maniac. I do not, however, race people down Boyd (due to the large population of pedestrians and drunks) or squeal my tires (unless I'm driving you-know-who's convertible Spyder). It is a good decision, Brit. That child needed way too much attention.
I really like that "cleave" can mean to split in two with a sharp object or to hold on tightly to someone/something. I'm sorry that his middle name is Dwayne.
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