Stop shaking damnit!!!

I noticed a really annoying girl sitting next to me today in class. She brought snacks for herself to eat while listening to the Prof talk. She had a ponytail, but left a large amount of her long bangs hanging out around her face, which she kept trying to keep out of her face. It was like she had turrets, shaking her head every few seconds just to keep it out of her eyes. And she was shaking her legs like she couldn’t help it. Like she was wearing Mexican Jumping Bean Shoes, and didn’t think anyone would notice. I looked at her every few seconds, trying to send a message to her with my brain waves, hoping that she maybe, just maybe had ESP and could hear my thoughts, but no. She just shook her head and bounced her feet as persistent as Noah was while building The Arc.

As if that didn’t consume enough of much my attention, we were going around the room telling things about ourselves that no one really cared to know. To get my mind of the turrets girl, a middle-aged woman explained what was most interesting about her. She told the entire class that she was almost convicted of murder. There was this unanimous gasp, which made me laugh, but it was an uncomfortable laugh. It was a laugh which I wasn’t sure I should be doing. Everyone just kind of stared at her, like she was, in fact, a murderer and she was going to stand up and shoot us all. Like telling us almost being convicted was an introduction to her Rose State College comp class massacre.

“Brittany is just scared of clowns,” said the Prof.

Apparently, she didn’t think this woman’s most interesting quality was appropriate. I totally agreed. This lady should have known this too. The school is in Midwest “Gangster” City for Christ’s sake. What’d she expect? A unanimous “Cool?”

Why do I always have to be in the same place as freaks?