She's "That" girl
We all have that friend who says and does stupid shit when he/she is drunk. or sober. It doesn't really matter. This person will say or do something stupid at any given moment, and there is nothing you can do to prevent it.
My friend like this tells stories about her self that would make you want to walk backwards slowly, and then out of no where turn around and sprint away from her. She will tell you the most horrid story about the time she kicked the shit out of her boyfriend, broke her own kitchen table in the street, sat the parts of the table on his car, got handcuffed, and sent the guy to jail for having a warrant all in one night. She tells this story like its funny. And she tells it to guys. Guys that she is trying to date. They look at me with worried eyes, so I just say, "Hey buddy, just dont cheat on her, ignore her, forget to call her, tell her you have had girlfriends in the past, or fart wrong and you're all good." She always thinks I'm joking, but I'm not. The bitch is crazy. She's one of those people that make you feel great about yourself. Sometimes I need a small reminder.
She has told this story to one of my guy friends before and he was like, "Ok, not only would I like for you to stop telling me this story, but also I would like to post your picture on the news and tell every man in America to run in the other direction if he spots you."
She thought it was funny. I would cry. If I was her (thank God I'm not), I would have punched him in the right eye, kicked him in the left knee cap, and walked away all gangster-boo like. But she's lacking in brain cells so she just laughed and laughed and told another dumb ass story about the time she punched some fat girl at a party. Blah.
This weekend, she went out to eat with me, Lauren, and my friend Kaylie. Our waiter was a pretty good looking guy, so she hit on him. She did this in the most disgusting way I have ever seen a person hit on anyone in my life. She said,"You're hot. I don't wear underwear. Wanna show me the nearest bathroom?" Seriously?
I think my IQ dropped...and I gagged. Oh, and the waiter looked at her like she was a retard.
It was at this same place that I had a brand new experience (aside from my friend making an ass of her self). For the very first time in my life, I had a drink sent over to me. When I asked who it was from, the waiter pointed the man out and said, "The owner of the place." So, the man was a good 20 years older than me, but it was still kind of cool.
Don't eat with your mouth open,
B
My friend like this tells stories about her self that would make you want to walk backwards slowly, and then out of no where turn around and sprint away from her. She will tell you the most horrid story about the time she kicked the shit out of her boyfriend, broke her own kitchen table in the street, sat the parts of the table on his car, got handcuffed, and sent the guy to jail for having a warrant all in one night. She tells this story like its funny. And she tells it to guys. Guys that she is trying to date. They look at me with worried eyes, so I just say, "Hey buddy, just dont cheat on her, ignore her, forget to call her, tell her you have had girlfriends in the past, or fart wrong and you're all good." She always thinks I'm joking, but I'm not. The bitch is crazy. She's one of those people that make you feel great about yourself. Sometimes I need a small reminder.
She has told this story to one of my guy friends before and he was like, "Ok, not only would I like for you to stop telling me this story, but also I would like to post your picture on the news and tell every man in America to run in the other direction if he spots you."
She thought it was funny. I would cry. If I was her (thank God I'm not), I would have punched him in the right eye, kicked him in the left knee cap, and walked away all gangster-boo like. But she's lacking in brain cells so she just laughed and laughed and told another dumb ass story about the time she punched some fat girl at a party. Blah.
This weekend, she went out to eat with me, Lauren, and my friend Kaylie. Our waiter was a pretty good looking guy, so she hit on him. She did this in the most disgusting way I have ever seen a person hit on anyone in my life. She said,"You're hot. I don't wear underwear. Wanna show me the nearest bathroom?" Seriously?
I think my IQ dropped...and I gagged. Oh, and the waiter looked at her like she was a retard.
It was at this same place that I had a brand new experience (aside from my friend making an ass of her self). For the very first time in my life, I had a drink sent over to me. When I asked who it was from, the waiter pointed the man out and said, "The owner of the place." So, the man was a good 20 years older than me, but it was still kind of cool.
Don't eat with your mouth open,
B
posted by Unknown at 5:08 PM
8 Comments:
Your "friend" sounds like a real winner there. Sounds like someone needs therapy, at the very least. And a restraining order or four.
In a loud voice with a bad Scottish accent: Fer feck sake, Brit!
Who the hell are you hanging out with and why? You can't be around this girl without getting caught up in her shit at some point. Just say "no!" Hell, you can start hanging out with my friends. They may be old, but they are way less insane than "I don't wear underwear" girl.
What is the name of the illustrious restaurant where all of this cheesy-goodness took place? Just curious.
like I said... Stupid and crazy...all of 'em
rock
c
I don't do this often because I never like to lose, but all of you are right.
She's not my friend anymore. I told her that if I was going to continue being her friend she needed to pay me. She's crazy, bi-polar, dependant, psycho, and she has a lisp that annoys the hell out of me. Oh--and she sucks her thumb. It's laurens fault. I never wanted to start hanging out with her in the first place. She's gone, now.
Tona-
The place is called Daddy Hinkles.
Who names a restaurant Daddy Hinkles?
Sounds like a child molester.
haha...
the owner is like 45 and was hitting on me..so he might just be a child molester.
"Daddy Hinkle's" is a brand of meat marinade named after a grandfatherly type gentleman. The restaurant is owned by Daddy Hinkle's grandson whose name is David - if it is the same guy that I've met. Funny, he didn't seem that old to me. I thought that he was kind of cute (for a freakin' dirty old man). I can't believe that he sent you a drink when he is old enough to be your father. I should go give him a piece of my mind! :)
AuntT
Holy shit. Now having actually experienced this girl in real life, I really wish that I had been paying attention when she told me that exact story, and had came up with something halfway insulting and backhanded that she wouldn't understand.
This is alot weirder when you know who the people involved are.
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