Duracell has the new Coppertop!
Have you ever bonged a beer out of something that resembled one of those scrunchy straws? I guess it couldn't really be compared to a beer bong because it was more of a tube with lots of ridges that made the bonging process last about a minute longer than it should. It takes an estimated time of 5-10 seconds (depending on how bad ass you are) to bong a beer out of a normal bong. This one gave me a brain freeze that lasted for a good 30 seconds. Can you imagine the look on my face? Not pretty.
My friday night started at about 8:00 with a quick round of bowling, and it ended with me asleep on a very uncomfortable white leather couch with a horrid floral blanket. In between that time I played dominoes (won that), ring of fire (made a really funny rule-you couldn't look at me), and Texas Hole 'Em (lost-really bad, hence the bonging of beer, okay 4 beers).
You know how the pro poker players wear a hat and glasses? Well, me being me, my poker apparel was a sombrero and aviators. Yes, i know. The people who write for Vogue wanted me on the cover. I said no because I don't want people to recongnize me on the streets and ask for my autograph.
I went to sleep around three in the morning. I guess a new party started after I had fallin asleep. I woke up the next morning with a rose next to me. Apparently, some guy thought I was a pretty sleeper and felt the need to give me the gift of a plush rose. How,uh, nice.
Later that day, I was driving home (yeah, i know. That wasn't a broad sentece at all). I was actually following my friends Ashley and Lauren. We were merging onto the highway when some crazy gangster nearly ran me off the road. He was in a lime green sparkling caddy with spoked rims. He spent more on his paint job and rims than the actual car. I could only tell because the car looked like someone had taken a sledge hammer to it, or maybe blew it up a couple times and super glued it back together in like 4.3 seconds. Maybe they used some tape and bubble gum, too.
Saturday pretty much sucked the largest weiner known to man kind. I spent around 8 hours baby sitting the smaller version satan, eating cupcakes, and watching back to back episodes of Next and Room Raiders on MTV. I decided that if I was on Next and the guy who was trying me out for size was weird or not cute, I would next myself. And if I were on Room Raiders, I would not be picked. First of all, my room is a disgusting color of pink and i have a really scary doll in there that even frightens me. My room was not decorated by me, but by my grandmother who decided to put all of her glass angels and dogs in there. The room raider would think I was a freak. I also have about a million formal dresses in that room. So he would think I was a freaky girl who liked to wear formals every day. That's not the case, I swear. I only prance around in my formals every other Thursday afteernoon, and sometimes on Sunday. That's it.
I also got hit in the face with a metal toy car by the kid I was baby sitting. He caused me to pull a muscle while jumping over him to avoid getting hit by some unknown object that he had created in his room, too. I'm pretty sure he is going to be smart enough to build a nuclear bomb by the age of 5 and we will all be screwed. Build your bomb shelters this weekend.
So, here is what I learned this weekend:
My friday night started at about 8:00 with a quick round of bowling, and it ended with me asleep on a very uncomfortable white leather couch with a horrid floral blanket. In between that time I played dominoes (won that), ring of fire (made a really funny rule-you couldn't look at me), and Texas Hole 'Em (lost-really bad, hence the bonging of beer, okay 4 beers).
You know how the pro poker players wear a hat and glasses? Well, me being me, my poker apparel was a sombrero and aviators. Yes, i know. The people who write for Vogue wanted me on the cover. I said no because I don't want people to recongnize me on the streets and ask for my autograph.
I went to sleep around three in the morning. I guess a new party started after I had fallin asleep. I woke up the next morning with a rose next to me. Apparently, some guy thought I was a pretty sleeper and felt the need to give me the gift of a plush rose. How,uh, nice.
Later that day, I was driving home (yeah, i know. That wasn't a broad sentece at all). I was actually following my friends Ashley and Lauren. We were merging onto the highway when some crazy gangster nearly ran me off the road. He was in a lime green sparkling caddy with spoked rims. He spent more on his paint job and rims than the actual car. I could only tell because the car looked like someone had taken a sledge hammer to it, or maybe blew it up a couple times and super glued it back together in like 4.3 seconds. Maybe they used some tape and bubble gum, too.
Saturday pretty much sucked the largest weiner known to man kind. I spent around 8 hours baby sitting the smaller version satan, eating cupcakes, and watching back to back episodes of Next and Room Raiders on MTV. I decided that if I was on Next and the guy who was trying me out for size was weird or not cute, I would next myself. And if I were on Room Raiders, I would not be picked. First of all, my room is a disgusting color of pink and i have a really scary doll in there that even frightens me. My room was not decorated by me, but by my grandmother who decided to put all of her glass angels and dogs in there. The room raider would think I was a freak. I also have about a million formal dresses in that room. So he would think I was a freaky girl who liked to wear formals every day. That's not the case, I swear. I only prance around in my formals every other Thursday afteernoon, and sometimes on Sunday. That's it.
I also got hit in the face with a metal toy car by the kid I was baby sitting. He caused me to pull a muscle while jumping over him to avoid getting hit by some unknown object that he had created in his room, too. I'm pretty sure he is going to be smart enough to build a nuclear bomb by the age of 5 and we will all be screwed. Build your bomb shelters this weekend.
So, here is what I learned this weekend:
- get better at poker
- stay away from sombreros
- stay clear of falling asleep on leather couches
- dont give kids cupcakes(sugar high=hitler like personality)
- dont leave them in their room by themselves
- dont hold metal objects near your face
- my friend ashley got called a Dune Coon (cause shes Persian), I didn't really learn that, I just thought it was funny
That's about it. I now have less brain cells than I did on Thursday. Go me.
Love thy neighbor,
Brittany
posted by Unknown at 3:50 PM
1 Comments:
I know that this is a little late for the whole comment thing, since you know that I read it when it was posted, but its still sweet.
March?
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