It happens every time..

so. "J" turned creepy on me just like every guy i date does. i wonder if it's my fault, but the more i think about it the more i am convinced that it really is them; not me. i can't help it that every guy i date turns out to be more of a girl than i am. i can't help it if they have more emotion and are more needy than i. it's not my fault. these are things i am just going to keep telling myself. i am not that bad of a girlfriend, i swear it. i only ask for a few simple things: As much Me Time as possible, no clinging on to me, and no telling me why you are upset because i didn't do this-that-or the other. is that really so much to ask? i didn't think so either.

he has called me once already and asked, "are we really broken up, or is this just a break?"
no dumbshit, i just broke up with you as a joke. we really aren't. IDIOT. now he has lowerd him self to writing a blog on Myspace. i'll let you read it because i'm evil and i have no heart. it is titled Always seems to be Wrong.

have you ever found someone that makes your heart race at just the chance at spending time with em...a person that you would do anything for if they ever needed you..some thats so different yet so much alike you that your differences are so small yet drive you nuts...when your willing to do anything to make it work, no matter how much it hurts, but nothing you seem to do is right...what would you do if everything you seem to do blows up in your face and you see you future with that someone fading away.

nothing so right has ever felt so wrong.

what i have come to realize is that he is a pathetic vagina. or maybe i am just a frigid bitch. feel free to give me your opinion. you see, i told him how i was before we even started dating. i told him the following:

• that dating to me is like a two year old with a toy. the more the two year old plays with the toy, the faster the two year old will get sick of it.
• that i don't care if i don't see him for multiple days in a row. there's a saying that goes, "distance makes the heart grow fonder." that has never proved itself true for me, but whatever. it sounds good.
• i'm not a phone person. so, please do not call me if you have nothing of interest to tell me. i will get annoyed. ask me if he did this anyway? yes. i had to listen to him breath many times. i also got 100 text messages a day.
• i'm very independant. i do not feel the need to tell you how much i like you.
• i also do not feel the need to hold hands, kiss, or hug you all the time.
• i will not "get in good" with your parents after one month.
• i will not "get in good" with your friends, either.

all of these things he just passed off as a joke. he acted like when i told him these things, i was really speaking chinese and not english. i'm pretty sure i can only speak english, and if i can speak another language well then, its new to me. i had to tell him to back off like 7 times, and he never did. it ended with me telling him that him just calling me pisses me off. even the thought of him began pissing me off when i learned that he talked to him self and made at least one strange noise. every. 30. seconds.

Warning:

i don't know many girls that are like me when it comes to dating. so to the guys that are reading this, don't take my advice on dating because i think i'm the only girl in the universe who feels this way. i know way too many girls who live every moment waiting on their boyfriends to call. i have seen friendships fade into a glimmer of light because they decided to spend all their time with their significant others instead of their friends, and you know what? that's totally fine. i'm just not that way, and i probably never will be.

i love you all,

B