I'm sick of Candyland
How many times can you sneeze before it causes brain damage? I guess that's kind of like asking the ancient question, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" No body really knows. All I know is that I just sneezed about 10 times in a 2 minute time span, and it gave me a head ache and maybe whiplash.
I think it's the effing cat that lives here at my aunts house. It's satan, and it hates me. Its the kind of cat that will wait underneath the sofa for someone to walk by, and then it jumps out and attacks the ankle of the passer-by. Stupid cat. My favorite animal is a dead cat. Wait, that was kind of dark. I didn't mean it like that. Ok, yes I did. I. Hate.Cats.
So, I keep burping and it tastes like oregano. My Mimi is an advocate for vitamins and other health-freakish supplements that make your pee a bright and happy shade of yellow. I have been sneezing and sounding like Pee-Wee Herman (minus the flashing of my weiner on TV) all day so she game me oregano in a pill form that is supposed to fight infection. Bull shit. The smell is like a blend of ass and fritos. Anyone hungry?
My cousin Allison, who is three, is running around demanding that everyone acknowledge her as Tigger. Last night she was walking around the living room with a breast feeding pillow (the shape of a half moon) around her head saying, "I'm a little flower." As cute as it was, I wondered if she knew how much baby throw up was on it.
This morning I woke up to the feeling of someone licking my foot. I freaked out. I looked down to the end of the couch and Allison was cracking up. I thought it was sick. She thought it was hilarious. How can licking a foot be amusing? It can't.
I come back on Friday. When I get home I will be all alone. The parents and grandparents will all be in Tulsa watching Lancer wrestle, and Ali will be at a cheer competition. No, I will not have any parties. I will stay with my buddy Lauren. My house creeps me out when I'm the only one in it. I must be going now. Children want me.
sneezing sucks,
Brittany Jonn
I think it's the effing cat that lives here at my aunts house. It's satan, and it hates me. Its the kind of cat that will wait underneath the sofa for someone to walk by, and then it jumps out and attacks the ankle of the passer-by. Stupid cat. My favorite animal is a dead cat. Wait, that was kind of dark. I didn't mean it like that. Ok, yes I did. I. Hate.Cats.
So, I keep burping and it tastes like oregano. My Mimi is an advocate for vitamins and other health-freakish supplements that make your pee a bright and happy shade of yellow. I have been sneezing and sounding like Pee-Wee Herman (minus the flashing of my weiner on TV) all day so she game me oregano in a pill form that is supposed to fight infection. Bull shit. The smell is like a blend of ass and fritos. Anyone hungry?
My cousin Allison, who is three, is running around demanding that everyone acknowledge her as Tigger. Last night she was walking around the living room with a breast feeding pillow (the shape of a half moon) around her head saying, "I'm a little flower." As cute as it was, I wondered if she knew how much baby throw up was on it.
This morning I woke up to the feeling of someone licking my foot. I freaked out. I looked down to the end of the couch and Allison was cracking up. I thought it was sick. She thought it was hilarious. How can licking a foot be amusing? It can't.
I come back on Friday. When I get home I will be all alone. The parents and grandparents will all be in Tulsa watching Lancer wrestle, and Ali will be at a cheer competition. No, I will not have any parties. I will stay with my buddy Lauren. My house creeps me out when I'm the only one in it. I must be going now. Children want me.
sneezing sucks,
Brittany Jonn

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