Shitty party and I'm sick
My weekend sucked. Really, really bad. It consisted of the most horrid smelling party ever, and some kind of cold/flu/food poisoning/weird.
Friday started out with a bit of excitement because we thought it was the warehouse. But, no. The owner was sick or something. It's only 11:00, so we get Taco Bell and go back to Tiffany and Megan's place with Cody (yes, from the show), Corey, Gilbert, and Eric.
One of the Lauren's calls me and tells me that there's a party in Edmond near The Common's (which is where dumb ex-boyfriend lives). We decided to go. I flip off The Common's as we pass it. We turn on some street and park behind a huge line of 9 cars. I call Lauren to too see which house it is, but we decide to follow the big group of 3 people that pulled in before us. We walk through a yard that hasn't been mowed since March of 1969 to the front door and march our happy asses in. I can't find Lauren anywhere, but I can smell the massive pile of dog shit next to the front door. Oh, and up comes the pit bull who left it there. Rather nice pup.
I'm sitting against a wall, or I was, until I thought about the germs that were probably on it. So, there I am trying to levitate when Lauren pops out of thin air. She yells my name so loud that I my eyebrows go up and my face looks like I ate something sour. She hugs me. She sits on the back of a couch, and promptly falls backward and laughs. Lauren is drunk. I am sober. And I am starting to get a really bad headache. I help Lauren up and walk away.
I go find Megan and Tif. Gilbert says that he and Eric are leaving. We are now depending on Cody and Corey to get us home. I go find Cody. I talk to him for a second. I turn around, and then turn back around and he is gone. And so is corey. They left. We are stuck at this party that looks and smells like the massive pile of dog shit left by the front door held up by the wall that i leaned against that probably caused the illness that I now have.
I tell Megan and Tif. They freak out. They call someone to come and get them. Around that time, Lauren tells me that they are going back to the city. Perfect. I'm thinking they can drop me off at home. Cause man. I am really starting to feel like the massive pile of dog shit. I tell Meg and Tif my plans and they leave.
This is the great part. I lose lauren and all the girls she's there with. I walk around the entire house. I walk back to the front door and the got reminded why I hadn't been there lately. I find Lauren in the Kitchen making out with some guy who is a Muslim. Good job Lauren. Your mother will be proud.
I find the other girls in the back room smoking pot. Good job again Lauren. Your mother will be proud.
There is only one other sober girl left other than myself that was there with Lauren. I find her and we stick together.
So, we just sit there on a leather couch waiting for the city to come and condemn the house we are in. Random guys come up and ask me if I'm having fun. I say yes. I love sitting in a house that now smells of shit and puke. And I really like people who hang out with people who live like this. And above all else, I really really like it when my head feels like a train hit it head on. and then backed up, and did it again all while i am sitting in a house that smells like shit with people who hang out with the people who ACTUALLY LIVE LIKE THIS.
I go ask Lauren when we are leaving. She changed her mind about soon. She now wants to stay that night. Then, to add to the glory, the cops show up. They knock about 90,000 times and no one answers. Everyone just sits there and shushes everyone else. I tell them that they aren't going to go away. They are cops. They want to ruin your party. That is what they are paid to do. They ignore the sober girl. Do they go away? No.
Another knock comes. The guy answers the door, but its not a cop. Apparently they have a special knock for friends. His friend talked to the cops. He informs me that one of my friends is outside and the cops are talking to her. She was driving and she's really drunk.
Great.
I go outside. The cop shines his light on me and asks if he can help me. The honest truth was that he could not in fact help me, but I could help the drunk girl get home safe. He told me that I was a good friend and gave me her keys after giving me the pen test. That's where he holds the pen in front of your face and your eyes have to follow it.
We go inside. All the girls except me and the other sober one decide that they want to stay the night. I hide the girl's keys and tell her to call me in the morning and I would tell her where they were. I didn't want her killing herself.
By the time we leave, it's about 4 in the morning. I am now sicker than sick.
I get home and quickly fall asleep, only to feel like absolute hell the next morning. It was like a hangover times 900,000,000,000,000,000. This has lasted all weekend. Yes, I still feel like poop even though it's not half as bad as it was.
I usually like getting to be lazy all day. Now, I kinda want a job.
Friday started out with a bit of excitement because we thought it was the warehouse. But, no. The owner was sick or something. It's only 11:00, so we get Taco Bell and go back to Tiffany and Megan's place with Cody (yes, from the show), Corey, Gilbert, and Eric.
One of the Lauren's calls me and tells me that there's a party in Edmond near The Common's (which is where dumb ex-boyfriend lives). We decided to go. I flip off The Common's as we pass it. We turn on some street and park behind a huge line of 9 cars. I call Lauren to too see which house it is, but we decide to follow the big group of 3 people that pulled in before us. We walk through a yard that hasn't been mowed since March of 1969 to the front door and march our happy asses in. I can't find Lauren anywhere, but I can smell the massive pile of dog shit next to the front door. Oh, and up comes the pit bull who left it there. Rather nice pup.
I'm sitting against a wall, or I was, until I thought about the germs that were probably on it. So, there I am trying to levitate when Lauren pops out of thin air. She yells my name so loud that I my eyebrows go up and my face looks like I ate something sour. She hugs me. She sits on the back of a couch, and promptly falls backward and laughs. Lauren is drunk. I am sober. And I am starting to get a really bad headache. I help Lauren up and walk away.
I go find Megan and Tif. Gilbert says that he and Eric are leaving. We are now depending on Cody and Corey to get us home. I go find Cody. I talk to him for a second. I turn around, and then turn back around and he is gone. And so is corey. They left. We are stuck at this party that looks and smells like the massive pile of dog shit left by the front door held up by the wall that i leaned against that probably caused the illness that I now have.
I tell Megan and Tif. They freak out. They call someone to come and get them. Around that time, Lauren tells me that they are going back to the city. Perfect. I'm thinking they can drop me off at home. Cause man. I am really starting to feel like the massive pile of dog shit. I tell Meg and Tif my plans and they leave.
This is the great part. I lose lauren and all the girls she's there with. I walk around the entire house. I walk back to the front door and the got reminded why I hadn't been there lately. I find Lauren in the Kitchen making out with some guy who is a Muslim. Good job Lauren. Your mother will be proud.
I find the other girls in the back room smoking pot. Good job again Lauren. Your mother will be proud.
There is only one other sober girl left other than myself that was there with Lauren. I find her and we stick together.
So, we just sit there on a leather couch waiting for the city to come and condemn the house we are in. Random guys come up and ask me if I'm having fun. I say yes. I love sitting in a house that now smells of shit and puke. And I really like people who hang out with people who live like this. And above all else, I really really like it when my head feels like a train hit it head on. and then backed up, and did it again all while i am sitting in a house that smells like shit with people who hang out with the people who ACTUALLY LIVE LIKE THIS.
I go ask Lauren when we are leaving. She changed her mind about soon. She now wants to stay that night. Then, to add to the glory, the cops show up. They knock about 90,000 times and no one answers. Everyone just sits there and shushes everyone else. I tell them that they aren't going to go away. They are cops. They want to ruin your party. That is what they are paid to do. They ignore the sober girl. Do they go away? No.
Another knock comes. The guy answers the door, but its not a cop. Apparently they have a special knock for friends. His friend talked to the cops. He informs me that one of my friends is outside and the cops are talking to her. She was driving and she's really drunk.
Great.
I go outside. The cop shines his light on me and asks if he can help me. The honest truth was that he could not in fact help me, but I could help the drunk girl get home safe. He told me that I was a good friend and gave me her keys after giving me the pen test. That's where he holds the pen in front of your face and your eyes have to follow it.
We go inside. All the girls except me and the other sober one decide that they want to stay the night. I hide the girl's keys and tell her to call me in the morning and I would tell her where they were. I didn't want her killing herself.
By the time we leave, it's about 4 in the morning. I am now sicker than sick.
I get home and quickly fall asleep, only to feel like absolute hell the next morning. It was like a hangover times 900,000,000,000,000,000. This has lasted all weekend. Yes, I still feel like poop even though it's not half as bad as it was.
I usually like getting to be lazy all day. Now, I kinda want a job.
posted by Unknown at 5:59 PM
3 Comments:
First dirty people, now dirty residences. Setting up a pattern are we?
Yea, our Pink Drink was a variant of your Trash Can Punch or our Jungle Juice. We just made a slushie out of it. And it was way stronger than it should have been.
When you're in Ames, which is pretty much Iowa State, you really don't use a car for anything, since by the time you could get to your car, you could have walked there.
I didn't know I was going to a dirty house. It just happened. I guess I didn't intend to meet the dirty people either.
Jesus, God. I don't even know where to start with this one, B.
I don't know if I can take these brutally honest weekend updates. I am glad there are two Laurens, that way I don't know which one was abusing illegal substances.
Why are you always the one talking to the police? I know, you are often more sober than most and have your mother's belief that you talk your self out of most situations. It doesn't always work, so be careful.
When you don't feel well and get ditched at a literally shitty party, please feel free to call me. I really don't want to get sick though, so I am glad your germs have been isolated to Mema and Papi's.
Let me know if you need anything; I'll send your Dad right over.
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