Wonder Showzen. Anyone seen it?

Dumb.Dumb.Dumb.Freaking Dumb.

So last night, at about 3:00 in the morning, we're at this guys house, and we're learning how to juggle. These guys live all the way by Hefner Lake, but they drive to Wall's (a great discount store) to buy random shit at least once a week. Yesterday they found a good deal on tennis balls. They got a hundred of them for 5 effing dollars. Priceless. Some they threw out of their cars on the highway, some they lit on fire, and some they used to juggle.

While learning the art of throwing multiple balls in the air in a circular motion, a boy turned on the TV. He pushed 55 on the remote control, and there before my eyes was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.

A child. A child dressed as Hitler (mustache and all). A child dressed as Hitler asking people weird shit like, "Do you like Hitler?"
Then, he would have a starting contest with the people.

Next, after baby Hitler, were characters like the ones on sesame Street, only disgusting.

For example, Chewties, a cookie made from cooties. On this show, you could die from cooties. Cooties = AIDS on this show. So, they cut off the sores, and they make them cookies, and they sell them to kids, so the kids get the cooties (AIDS) and then they die.

Good show people. Amazing. Lets all eat AIDS cookies and die.

They also have demented hot dogs, an annoying blue puppet that I would punch if it had nerve endings, and children that ask retarded questions.

So theres that.

Oh, and one more thing. I almost got into a fight yesterday.

So, I went to lunch with The Laurens at Primos. We're eating, we're talking to people that work there, and we're laughing in abundance.

These two girls walk in and are seated behind and diagonal to us. I recognize one of them. It's a girl that hates me because of a boy that she liked, that I went out with, that cheated on me with her. I don't have a problem with her, but I am, at this point, disgusted at what it is she is wearing. She's wearing a half top, a skanky one, her hair is put up like it was matted that way for a month, and her make up is so crazy I don't know whether to just look at it or try to fix it. By the grace of God, I stayed in my seat, but the bitch in me had to laugh. So, I did. Mistake number one.

Our waitress is Kelly. Kelly is funny. Kelly made fun of these girls while they were sitting less than 4 feet away. The girls got mad. We get up from our lunch, one of the girls stops us and says, while looking up at the ceiling nonetheless, "I'm glad you think it's so fun to talk shit about other girls. I hope it makes you feel better. blah blah wahh."

She's talking to me. I didn't even say anything. I said nothing at all. So why are they talking to me? The girl I got cheated on with recognized me, and she just wants to start crap. A few words are exchanged, but nothing really important. The Laurens and I make our way up to the front where we talk to Kelly for a while longer.

The girl that doesn't like me and her friend make their way to the front also. They walk out the door to leave. Moments later, we see a car hit the curb. The girl that doesn't like me gets out, walks back into Primos and says, "Whose talkin shit, seriously?"

We stand there in silence as her friend makes her way inside too.

She says, "I just want you to know that I am never eating here again."

Silence. A giggle or two.

They leave and go sit in their car. The Laurens and I walk out and get in our cars. The girls follow us. The tall Lauren started getting pissed, so we pulled into a gas station. They sure enough followed us in there, too. Lauren gets out of her car and walks over to theirs.

"Is there a problem?"

She asks.

"No. Not with you. We don't like Brittany."

I get out of the car and walk over there.

"You need to leave now, " says one girl.

Of course, cause I don't take orders, I don't move.

"Seriously. If you don't move I am going to get out of the car and hit you in the face."

I laughed. I really did. It just sounded so funny. I told her that I was going to stand right where I was, and that if she really had any intentions of getting out and hitting me in the face, it would have been done already.

Silence.

They leave.

We win.

Go us.

The end.