BEADS FOR CRACK!
What is with boys and boobs? Better yet, what is with boobs and beads? I thought that this was just a Mardi Gras thing, but apparently, it’s a male ego thing. Every where you go, at least around here, boys will have beads, and boobs will have beads, because if you have beads and you’re not a boy, you must have shown your boobs.
I went out to 39th St. on Saturday, because every Saturday is a Cruise Day…eh night. We pull into this parking lot where a friend of mine wants to see a friend of hers who is in a “Camaro Crew.”
Gay you ask? Yes. It is.
We get there and stand out side. It’s four of us girls in the middle of a bunch of boys and some strange girls. We see this guy holding up a sign that says “Show Me Your Boobs!”
He has beads. I looked at the sign a little closer. He has the two O’s in boobs drawn in the shape of breasts. However, to me, the boobs looked more like a butt crack with dimples than it did boobs.
As much fun as it was standing in that parking lot, we had to leave because some guy knocked a girl out. So, we drove up and down 39th until we found ourselves at Sonic (America’s favorite drive-thru).
We all stood in front of this guy’s truck and yelled things at cars that drove by. If a person was driving a Mustang, we did not yell “nice Mustang,” instead we yelled, “nice Firebird!”
People didn’t think it was as funny as we did.
After a while, we all started getting a little slap happy. We decided to do something crazy. Here are the steps to de-bore your self at 39th Street:
Step 1: Steal beads.
Step 2: Find a group of boys.
Step 3: Approach boys.
Step 4: Yell, “Beads for crack!”
Step 5: Realize what the hell you just said.
Step 6: Yell, “Beads for ass crack!”
Step 7: Watch pants drop like my grades in high school.
You know, I really didn’t think that this was going to work, but to my surprise it definitely did. Right when I yelled, “Beads for ass crack,” a swarm of boys circled around us. Boys really showed us their bums, and we really did give them beads. Everyone at Sonic laughed with us and had lots of super spectacular fun. When it was time to leave, we yelled, “Thanks for the ass,” and waved good-bye.
Good-bye.
I went out to 39th St. on Saturday, because every Saturday is a Cruise Day…eh night. We pull into this parking lot where a friend of mine wants to see a friend of hers who is in a “Camaro Crew.”
Gay you ask? Yes. It is.
We get there and stand out side. It’s four of us girls in the middle of a bunch of boys and some strange girls. We see this guy holding up a sign that says “Show Me Your Boobs!”
He has beads. I looked at the sign a little closer. He has the two O’s in boobs drawn in the shape of breasts. However, to me, the boobs looked more like a butt crack with dimples than it did boobs.
As much fun as it was standing in that parking lot, we had to leave because some guy knocked a girl out. So, we drove up and down 39th until we found ourselves at Sonic (America’s favorite drive-thru).
We all stood in front of this guy’s truck and yelled things at cars that drove by. If a person was driving a Mustang, we did not yell “nice Mustang,” instead we yelled, “nice Firebird!”
People didn’t think it was as funny as we did.
After a while, we all started getting a little slap happy. We decided to do something crazy. Here are the steps to de-bore your self at 39th Street:
Step 1: Steal beads.
Step 2: Find a group of boys.
Step 3: Approach boys.
Step 4: Yell, “Beads for crack!”
Step 5: Realize what the hell you just said.
Step 6: Yell, “Beads for ass crack!”
Step 7: Watch pants drop like my grades in high school.
You know, I really didn’t think that this was going to work, but to my surprise it definitely did. Right when I yelled, “Beads for ass crack,” a swarm of boys circled around us. Boys really showed us their bums, and we really did give them beads. Everyone at Sonic laughed with us and had lots of super spectacular fun. When it was time to leave, we yelled, “Thanks for the ass,” and waved good-bye.
Good-bye.
posted by Unknown at 4:43 PM
7 Comments:
I don't understand the logic behind that. People will do alot for shiny plastic beads, so why didn't you get some free food or something else, instead of some guy's hairy ass, which you could probably have seen for free?
Something to ponder.
I love Sonic.
Well Jameson, I pondered it, and I came up with the fact that I never said that there was any logic behind Beads For Crack. In all honesty, I just thought it would be hilarious, and it was.
It goes both ways, most girls would show their boobs without being provoaked by beads as well. It's the fact that people actually do it, and mother fucker, it's fucking funny. I said fuck. Three times.
:)
I love Sonic, too!
The point, I think, is that turning the stereotype and objectification around is a little satisfying for females. You may not think there is a lot sexism that still goes on, but there is.
Yes, boys will often show their asses unprovoked, but getting them to drop trou for some cheap ass beads is kind of like watching a little trained monkey play his organ. Jesus, that sounded dirty. You know what I am talking about though.
What the monkey does with his organs is his own business.
Yea, I understand the whole feminist thing here, but I don't like to see all sides to anything. Picasso painted shit that you could see all sides too, and boy was that ever fucked up.
I prefer black and white, and that's why I can write such obviously narrowminded arguments with hilarious results.
Of course you enjoy only seeing things one dimensionally - You are male.
And of course you think the monkey should get to do whatever he wants with his organ - You are male.
And of course you think you are hilarious...
Okay. I think you are funny too.
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Again, nice site folks...I'll be baak...:)
Hi blogger, I was out blogging and came across your site. It's been great reading through. It certainly looks like you've taken time to organise it. Well done and keep up the good work.
Regards
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